July 27, 2017 by Wayne.
You said your answer is the same and I
Said right okay and I
And I guess I thought if I said it fast enough or like in the right order of words through WhatsApp after the right amount of time you would think maybe after like going for brunch and lunch and drinks and shit that maybe you could
Yeah anyway it’s fine. I only think of you occasionally on Fridays at the great beer bar or after I’ve drunk a bit and stepped outside to the verandah and the bite of gold label and shitty Korean beer are enough to chew past the constant layer of repression put up by a screen of constant work. Or when I see you walking out through our work lift and you look at me blankly and walk past. Stuff like that.
So I was thinking lately that maybe Sunday worship isn’t enough to lift a broken spirit out of a broken body. And maybe that’s not even how religion works in the first place. And maybe that’s not how all this works at all. We have our choices narrowed by age and our hairlines recede and our body sprout hair in odd patches and one day you’re looking across the bar for half a night before you talk and realize she’s close to a decade younger.
And I think a decade ago I was in high school and cyber cafes and brothels where they ask in scattershot English if it’s my first time and I wonder if the truth is worth anything. She says shower first, after leading me through a mirror door. She says just lie down. And I do and I think maybe the first lie is the first of every and any and maybe if I find the right order of words on WhatsApp this too will be another lie another joke and I don’t really care for you and I don’t really think of you at all not even the times you look through me and I remember when we used to look at menus together. It’s okay. Your answer is the same and we will grow old and all those other fun things.