twenny three

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September 27, 2014 by Wayne.

Birthdays, holy hell.

So what about that Syro, eh? Not a huge fan, myself, but it warrants a run-through at the very least. Gave it a second listen, then started watching Utopia, which was pretty insane. It almost feels like I skipped the actual pilot – the first episode’s so goddamn immaculately crafted.

Very gory, though. Lots of black humour too. The visuals are stunning, with a delicate mise-en-place, confident cinematography, and an incredibly distinctive saturated hue to the entire thing. Brilliant juxtaposition with the dark tone, that. Excellent soundtrack too. Basically, it’s dark, bleak, riveting, the whole lot. My only (personal) problem with it is it’s a tad too disturbing to watch while eating.

But back, briefly, to birthdays before I end this blog post (they’re a rarity on this blog, aren’t they?): they get slightly more depressing every year. I guess having that milestone forces you to take stock of your passage in time and reassess your direction. Am I a better person now than I was a year ago? What do I mean by “better”? And all those other fun trivia questions.

So, reflection time! Devoid of any excessively personal details. Will still, however, be utterly dull and banausic because I’m actually not very good at this.

Anyway.

My long years of formal education are finally over; until post-grad, at any rate. I’ve always had a bunch of self-improvement projects planned for this period, so it’s pretty sad to look back and realize I’ve hardly started on any. Sure, I’ve written a bit of poetry (mostly middling), and I’ve read a couple of books (a small couple), but I haven’t made any significant headway in all the language, programming, music courses.

It’s not altogether surprising, honestly. After all, it’s common knowledge that you need to make time for things, not wait for there to be time. Yeah, a mantra from our collective consciousness actually holds true! I’m shocked too.

There are ways to overcome this, of course. Pomodoro works a treat, particularly in conjunction with a GTD workflow to split tasks/projects up into smaller chunks. Still, it’s easier said than done. My timetable stares forlornly at my left profile daily, and I can’t recall the last time I’ve returned its attention. Not to worry. I’m getting there. Props to Duolingo, Codeacademy, and all the rest for paving the road.

Self-improvement aside, in recent years, I’ve taken to thinking a bit about my online/social media presence. While I decided long ago on my curated charade when it comes to FB, it’s really becoming more and more of a chore. Not all my posts appear on people’s timeline. Not all of them are read (I’m going to go with a 90% skimmed past rate). Which isn’t a bad thing since I post more shit than anyone I know. The thing is, it’s hard to build on past posts and continue inside jokes and make a sort of thematic continuation of shared links when I’m basically talking to myself. And by that, I mean it’s hard because it feels right stupid after a bit.

So. I suppose I’ll naturally cut down a bit on the FB spam once full-time employment begins. I might miss it, I think.

The final point of reflection, then: relationships. I’ve been fairly hostile since leaving Canada, but I do think the last birthday-year has had the highest number of severed relationships. That isn’t a bad thing per se (some amount of pruning is always good), though it is a bummer to realize how few close friends I have. Yeah yeah, it’s not about the quantity and all that jazz, but it certainly doesn’t hurt to have more people to spend time with.

I’m sure there are plenty of like-minded people out there. And plenty of non-like-minded people who’d make dope ass friends regardless. All in good time.

Guess it’s time to look at myself (gosh, is that what reflect means) and think about what it is I’m doing wrong, why I’m driving people away, yadda yadda.

And as for love … Christ, there’s a right mess.

Well, here we are then at the end. Can’t say blog posts are particularly fun to write. Feels too masturbatory – yeah, even more than poetry.

But hey, it’s once a year, right? Might as well celebrate. Here’s to another year.

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