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November 23, 2013 by Wayne.

we were interested only in the subjective truth, afraid to rationalize away our beliefs
i knew we’d both agree only to the rejection of coercion
the only other common grounds being the bed and cringeworthy cliches (check)
the only way you would see this through
would be if i walked with you
along the west-bound rail, blue and gold in the dying light, the street shaking overhead as the cars fled the city

once you left, the rooms got a lot brighter etc etc
i threw out your purple throws stocked up on showerheads and rituals fuck that clutter-free shit only using throats for sex only hydrating through cream ale
all 10s in the drinklight, wake and eject, t(h)rust in the burning of the midnight radios
I was doing alright.

the first time we met, we laughed about popped collars and hated the same things
guess there should be more to love than mild cordiality mutual snobbery sex
let’s talk: the necessity of compartmentalization instead of codependency
ah fuck that, you wouldn’t care anyway
you with your rationalizations and word-warping,
let’s stay like this, forever united in our mutual hatred

i was cleaning the place one day when i found an old letter:
do you remember when we were at barberini square?
eating flaked salmon on flaxseed,
watching the tide of people wash by
we stayed late into the evening, ate dollar kebabs for dinner, waited wide-eyed for the future
muddled bitters, sipped cocktails, laughed at the bitch with a black-hemmed purple wrapper on her
your tears were hot against my skin, we danced in the lobby before they kicked us out, we –

thought of calling you then, to say ‘let’s forget what happened, let’s just try again, let’s just keep trying
i’ll listen more’, i won’t hit you again, ‘i won’t drink to stay awake’, tell me what else to do, but i remembered you were fucking that snarky asshole who’s a better version of me, so
‘i’m doing alright’

just give me a time and a place in the past, and everything’s worth missing

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